Lies

I think the best way of starting is by defining a lie. According to Google a lie is an affirmation made by a person, while conscious that it is not true.

A very dear friend said to me “you are leading a life of lies”. When I first heard this I closed myself off, I denied it and distanced myself. With time I started to see that my acts truly demonstrated that I was lying; I would make commitments to finish work and would not do it, would set a date with friends and would then cancel, I said I wanted to change but would just feel sorry for myself…

I was always proud because out of my three sisters I was the one that could lie the best, I was the best actress when it came to “white lies”, I would go as far as thinking that not knowing how to manipulate was a weakness. This act soon became the method by which I lived. It is curious because growing up, the situations which caused me most pain, where those where I felt deceived and it was demanded of me to speak the truth. So now, why am I repeating history becoming “the story teller”, the “boy who cried wolf” or however we want to call it?

Where does the problem begin?

The problem starts when we do not listen to the voice inside of us, our conscience, or however you want to call it, we get anxious, our nerves take over and we become irritable, fall in despair. This is because, as e La Jardinera and Lucia have explained many times before, our conscience NEVER lies.

So now I ask myself, why do we lie? Why do we want to consciously evade reality? What do we gain from the approval of a person, it it only lasts an instant and we then don’t deliver and our word becomes worthless? We fill ourselves with promises, tales that make others fall in love, so that we can have them in our pockets and all this, for what? To manipulate, to portray, to procrastinate, “feeling good” in the moment.

What are the consequences?

1) Loss of self-esteem, when we postpone commitments you feel like you are not capable of concluding anything and you do not know where to start, 2) Long term increased Anxiety, lies and promises accumulate and it is like carrying every day a backpack filled with rocks, 3) Loss of clarity, when we deceive ourselves so much it becomes almost impossible to distinguish reality from our own lies, 4) Loss of trust in others, you will end up tiring your friends with your thousands of promises and all the talk, they will not be able to count on you.

How do we change?

For those out there who may feel identified with my words, I would like to say: we can change. In each course and each trip with Manos Sin Fronteras, I have learned that speaking the Truth, is a choice, our choice. I am beginning to understand why I lie, but also that I have no reason to do it.

We can live a smart life. Freeing ourselves from the lies is cutting the chains and stepping out from our internal jail, it is accepting who we are and working towards who we want to be. Talking and acting with the Truth, means a clean conscience, and that is the only thing that will allow us to truly enjoy life.