Understand to leave behind

We all know guilt, we learn about it at a very young age and it is part of our growing up. But feeling guilty about everything brings more harm than good. Is it possible to leave the guilt behind? In my opinion, yes. Each of us deserves to be happy. To overcome something you have to understand it, but talking about guilt is difficult, I can't tell you "this is guilt" not in the same way that I tell you this flower: "it's a daisy". You can open the dictionary and you will find some pretty long definitions.

In general it is an action contrary to a given law or moral rule or something more personal (such as not reaching a goal). We all know guilt, a feeling that exists somewhere and that can continue to affect us, even after years have gone by.

As we live we accumulate good experiences, joys, sorrows and even guilt. One by one they begin to form an invisible weight on our shoulders. Invisible but not light.

But we can let go of this burden, leave the guilt behind.

Accept the past, what happened is what happened, you cannot change it, modify it, rewrite it, erase it ... The past is what it is whether we like it or not. If you have a time machine, you may have solved the problem, but if we don't, well then we have to do it the old fashioned way and work on ourselves; I don't think it will ever go out of style, but we have to have the courage to take the journey.

You may not feel proud of the decisions you have made, but the important thing is to get up after the fall, learn from the mistake and not repeat it, not feel guilty or depressed about it. Denying or ignoring what hurts us in our past does not help, perhaps at first it does, but in the long run it does not. What happened to us is part of us, for better or for worse, positive and negative experiences. There is no "universal recipe" to accept the past, each person is different and their life experiences are different. As you progress, you understand more, but you have to do a lot for yourself, understand what bothers us, how we feel, etc. Until reaching a better version of yourself, at peace with the past and happy for the person it led us to be. Accepting the past is not easy, there are things that take time, but step by step you get somewhere, the important thing is to continue.

Accept yourself as you are. How you are on the outside and inside. Accepting your body is also important, even if our body does not meet classic beauty standards or what society wants. If I am at peace with my body, I will stop feeling guilty for eating too much chocolate, but if I am concerned about the shape of my body, maybe I will do a few more minutes of training and that's my decision. Talking about how you are inside is more difficult. We have many sides, we are unique beings. Perfection does not exist, someone may find us nice, someone unfriendly, someone weird, etc ... again it is about balance and feeling good about yourself.

Accept reality. If the past is immutable with the present and the future we can do something about it. We can choose what to do and how to evolve, how to continue, what will be the next stage of our journey. But there is something that is beyond our control, as it should be. Our happiness also depends on our ability to accept, to reconcile with our own imperfections and those of others. Pursuing impossible goals is a source of dissatisfaction, in the same way that stopping and setting limits can be self-destructive. There are those who are dreamers and those who are realistic, but they are only labels.

Dreaming is important, having hope is important but getting lost in plans, projects and dreams forgetting to live reality, what surrounds us and what is happening now is a mistake, or at least this is what I think. We all have an internal judge who makes judgments. We judge all the time, sometimes even when we shouldn't and / or don't have the necessary requirements, but it is what we do.

Very often those of us who are hardest on ourselves, we do not allow ourselves anything. But by locking ourselves in a cage of demands we will get nowhere. Sometimes it helps to talk, but often we think about the judgment of others. This should not stop us, we are worth it, we are important and sometimes we have to prioritize ourselves. Let's try to trust our friends in small steps, sooner or later we will find someone to really talk to and open a sincere exchange for the growth of both. If the problems are serious, you can also go to an expert.

I am very lucky because I have a great family of international friends: the volunteers of Manos Sin Fronteras. Many of them have known me for years and we are very friends, I really consider them a second